Yesterday it seemed like nothing was going right. Ellie and several of her belongings had already required a bath before noon, and William had been grumpy and difficult all morning. I wanted to work on a magazine article I've been feeling called to write, but it didn't look like there would ever be peace or time to think about it, let alone write and refine it.
I sat down on the floor next William (who was having another of his fits) and wondered to myself why God would allow all of these things to go wrong if I was supposed to be writing. Then something funny happened. Rather than being annoyed at William, I was suddenly full of compassion. "What is it, sweetie? What's frustrating you so much?" He thumped his hand angrily on the floor in response. "Mommy wants you to have a good day today. Just tell me why you're unhappy and I'll see if I can make it better." All the while I was talking, I felt like God was actually talking to ME with the same words. I realized that I had never asked Him to intervene in the day. I just assumed He was somehow testing me.
After that, in my heart, I told the Lord that I really wanted to write. And suddenly events started aligning themselves so that I would have a few hours alone to focus. It was kind of jaw-dropping to watch. I walked out of the room and Kurt offered to take William shopping. Ellie was asleep. The boys watched TV for a bit while we ate lunch, and during that lull I was able to think. By the time they left, my mind was ordered and I was ready to sit down and write. (I got an outline together that I feel good about. It was fantastic!)
Writing this, I can't believe how quickly I forget that God and I are in a relationship. He wants me to share my thoughts and feelings and desires with Him, to ask for help. So today's goal: TALK to Him about what's wrong.
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I'm so glad you have a blog! Looking forward to reading it. Mine is
ReplyDeletehttp://joannareynoldsandfamily.blogspot.com/
Jenn, what a great idea to start a blog like this. I think it will be encouraging not only for you, but others in your life who see how God is working in your life.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to find time to work on your article - I am looking forward to reading the revised version.
Jenn - in that process of talking to William, asking him why he's unhappy & that you wanted to make it better, you were also teaching him that you value his feelings, that he is important, that you care for and love him. You (& Kurt) are Williams main example of "God" in his life right now, therefore you are also teaching him that God cares about how he feels, God loves him... just like He was showing you! I think that is really cool too.
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean about you guys being an example of God in Williams life (& Ellie too) is that you (& Kurt) are their main authority figures, you are an example of the Father's heart of love for them, His caring, His nurturing. We can't be perfect of course, but it's good to think about how important our role is as parents.
On a little bit of a tangent, but somewhat related, I'm thinking about when the kids (mine)were younger and I was teaching them about obedience to me. I told them about my relationship with God and in regards to discipline - that when I did bad things God "spanked" me. I wanted to teach them how to listen & how to obey me and in that process they would be learning how to listen & obey the Lord for themselves. God would then be the One to obey, not me. There would be the transfer of authority out my hands and into their own so to speak and their relationship to God would become much more personal.
Just a few thoughts. I'm surprised I have any coherent thoughts at all at this time of the morning, having been up all night....
That's interesting about teaching your kids to learn to follow the Lord in that way. It sounds like a good idea. Thanks! I hadn't thought of it like that, though I did know that they would one day know God (hopefully) through my own life and treatment of them. I hope that my interactions with them do mirror the Father's with us!
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