Answer to a Desperate Prayer

It's been a long time. But thanks to the encouragement I read here today I got to thinking about this blog again and realized that I did want to share. There has been so much. Where to start when I talk about the God who loves me and has never left me? He is always here, always near. I just want to share a little of Him with you.

I have a close family member who suffers from a mental disorder, and while it has been so difficult to face, I see God's care for that person often and it is beautiful and humbling. I can't understand why God makes people with disabilities, weaknesses and limitations like that. But I see that He does, and that mysteriously He works on their behalf. I even get the feeling that these weakest ones are precious to Him in a special way. I've struggled with how to pray for this person. Do I ask for healing? It seems like the most natural and obvious request. And yet, until recently, I knew that I could not ask in faith.

It took a time of real distress to move me to beg my Father. This dear person's behavior was becoming unmanageable to everyone-- family, caregivers, peers. In desperation I begged God for help. Do something, Lord, I beg you. This can't go on I cried. And I persisted. I sat on my knees before God and poured out my heart to Him from the depths, and then waited for an answer. I knew He was real. I knew He loved me without doubt. And dwelling on those truths, it was like my mind began to clear. He knew this person's need. And He was GOD. No one above Him. "Jesus, if you are willing, you can make this person well." And I believed it.

Then I felt like He was asking me, "What do you want Me to do?" So I considered it and prayed specifically for their ability to have relationships, to love and be loved, to be aware of those around them. And then there was peace. I knew something had happened.

I didn't tell anyone about the prayer. But that night my mom was raving to me on the phone about the sudden difference that she saw in this person. He was interacting on a deeper level, seeking out relationships. He was fun and pleasant to be with, communicating clearly.

I cried. This is the God we serve. He touches a broken world. And nothing is too hard for Him to do. There have been times my prayers were met with a "no"...but He spoke it to my heart. It wasn't "no" by default; I didn't assume He'd said no because I hadn't seen anything happen. And to hear Him speak even the "no"s, is blessing. Because nothing compares to this relationship with Him, to be in His presence and be His. He's not a genie in the sky; He's my Father who sees my need and cares tenderly for me, always giving what is best.

Psalm 23

Recently we moved to a new home back in my hometown. We had been looking for a place with a yard for our energetic, growing kids...being on the top floor of an apartment building just wasn't working out so well anymore. We were looking at two places and I just wasn't sure what would be good. I had some reservations about each place and was really torn about what would be the right place to move to, if either would be. There was just no way to know. So I prayed, and I thought about Psalm 23. "You make me lie down in green pastures; You lead me beside the quiet waters..." And so I told the Lord that I knew He was my good shepherd and asked Him to lead us to the good pasture, wherever He knew that would be and no matter how I felt about it. It's hard to explain but somehow I then *knew* which was the right place to go. I didn't feel it...I still had feelings of reservation...yet at the same time I knew that they would be resolved; that everything would work out.

Now here we are. All of my concerns ended up being nothing. We love our new place. There is peace here. The kids are happy and enjoy the yard. The street is lovely with green trees and lots of birds and flowers. The neighbors are great...green pasture. It really is everything I needed and wanted and I am so grateful to my shepherd.