Answer to a Desperate Prayer

It's been a long time. But thanks to the encouragement I read here today I got to thinking about this blog again and realized that I did want to share. There has been so much. Where to start when I talk about the God who loves me and has never left me? He is always here, always near. I just want to share a little of Him with you.

I have a close family member who suffers from a mental disorder, and while it has been so difficult to face, I see God's care for that person often and it is beautiful and humbling. I can't understand why God makes people with disabilities, weaknesses and limitations like that. But I see that He does, and that mysteriously He works on their behalf. I even get the feeling that these weakest ones are precious to Him in a special way. I've struggled with how to pray for this person. Do I ask for healing? It seems like the most natural and obvious request. And yet, until recently, I knew that I could not ask in faith.

It took a time of real distress to move me to beg my Father. This dear person's behavior was becoming unmanageable to everyone-- family, caregivers, peers. In desperation I begged God for help. Do something, Lord, I beg you. This can't go on I cried. And I persisted. I sat on my knees before God and poured out my heart to Him from the depths, and then waited for an answer. I knew He was real. I knew He loved me without doubt. And dwelling on those truths, it was like my mind began to clear. He knew this person's need. And He was GOD. No one above Him. "Jesus, if you are willing, you can make this person well." And I believed it.

Then I felt like He was asking me, "What do you want Me to do?" So I considered it and prayed specifically for their ability to have relationships, to love and be loved, to be aware of those around them. And then there was peace. I knew something had happened.

I didn't tell anyone about the prayer. But that night my mom was raving to me on the phone about the sudden difference that she saw in this person. He was interacting on a deeper level, seeking out relationships. He was fun and pleasant to be with, communicating clearly.

I cried. This is the God we serve. He touches a broken world. And nothing is too hard for Him to do. There have been times my prayers were met with a "no"...but He spoke it to my heart. It wasn't "no" by default; I didn't assume He'd said no because I hadn't seen anything happen. And to hear Him speak even the "no"s, is blessing. Because nothing compares to this relationship with Him, to be in His presence and be His. He's not a genie in the sky; He's my Father who sees my need and cares tenderly for me, always giving what is best.

Learning about Healing

Something that I've really wanted to understand is about praying for healing. Jesus told people that it was their faith that healed them, and the gospels record that He didn't do miracles in certain places due to the the people's lack of faith.

I can definitely say that I have not had much faith for healings in the past. How could I believe that God would heal someone if I didn't know that that was what He wanted to do? So many people pray and don't get healed. Do they all have too little faith? Maybe it was just that God didn't want to heal in those cases. So one day it occurred to me: Ask Him. I was so tired of guessing at what He thought was good. I wanted to know Him. And I knew that whatever He wanted to do, heal or not, would be good.

Every prayer was a little different. One time, a friend of mine was sick in the hospital after undergoing some treatments, and each day as I prayed, the Lord would lay different needs on my heart. I got to see God answering those needs directly. I would become aware of a specific need and feel God's great compassion. Then I simply asked the Lord to care for it. He was laying His own desires on my heart and then doing the work to care for them. I truly became just a vessel for His love and power.

At first I had thought that the goal was to see miracles, but I have learned through these experiences of asking His will that He often just works through natural systems like medicine or an immune system to care for people. I think He was often protecting people from further harm. And sometimes He intervened in clearly miraculous ways. But the common factor is His care for His people.