Answer to a Desperate Prayer

It's been a long time. But thanks to the encouragement I read here today I got to thinking about this blog again and realized that I did want to share. There has been so much. Where to start when I talk about the God who loves me and has never left me? He is always here, always near. I just want to share a little of Him with you.

I have a close family member who suffers from a mental disorder, and while it has been so difficult to face, I see God's care for that person often and it is beautiful and humbling. I can't understand why God makes people with disabilities, weaknesses and limitations like that. But I see that He does, and that mysteriously He works on their behalf. I even get the feeling that these weakest ones are precious to Him in a special way. I've struggled with how to pray for this person. Do I ask for healing? It seems like the most natural and obvious request. And yet, until recently, I knew that I could not ask in faith.

It took a time of real distress to move me to beg my Father. This dear person's behavior was becoming unmanageable to everyone-- family, caregivers, peers. In desperation I begged God for help. Do something, Lord, I beg you. This can't go on I cried. And I persisted. I sat on my knees before God and poured out my heart to Him from the depths, and then waited for an answer. I knew He was real. I knew He loved me without doubt. And dwelling on those truths, it was like my mind began to clear. He knew this person's need. And He was GOD. No one above Him. "Jesus, if you are willing, you can make this person well." And I believed it.

Then I felt like He was asking me, "What do you want Me to do?" So I considered it and prayed specifically for their ability to have relationships, to love and be loved, to be aware of those around them. And then there was peace. I knew something had happened.

I didn't tell anyone about the prayer. But that night my mom was raving to me on the phone about the sudden difference that she saw in this person. He was interacting on a deeper level, seeking out relationships. He was fun and pleasant to be with, communicating clearly.

I cried. This is the God we serve. He touches a broken world. And nothing is too hard for Him to do. There have been times my prayers were met with a "no"...but He spoke it to my heart. It wasn't "no" by default; I didn't assume He'd said no because I hadn't seen anything happen. And to hear Him speak even the "no"s, is blessing. Because nothing compares to this relationship with Him, to be in His presence and be His. He's not a genie in the sky; He's my Father who sees my need and cares tenderly for me, always giving what is best.

The best bologna sandwich ever

My last post reminded me of an answered prayer story I have from one of our Alaska trips. Kurt and I had been backpacking the wilderness of Denali National Park for 8 days and our food was running low. I was pregnant at the time and I thought all of our food tasted like white gas--"all" of our food being, as I recall, mostly peanut M&M's and half a bag of wheat thins. I was very hungry and anxious to get out to the road and catch a bus back to the entrance area and the restaurant there.

As we were approaching the road and my heart soared with anticipation of getting out of the woods, Kurt said that he wanted to catch the bus in the opposite direction to see Mt. McKinley--a two hour ride with no food along the way. I told him i was starving and couldn't wait any longer, but he *really* wanted to go. As I was fuming silently to myself, the Lord asked me why I had come on the trip. Well, for Kurt, I replied. Then let him go see the mountain. But Lord, I'm so hungry! I will provide food for you.

I had a little crisis of faith there--was I really hearing Him say that? But I decided to trust and agreed to go to see the mountain with Kurt. Not 10 minutes later on the bus ride, this guy in front of us turned around and said, "hey, we're getting off at the next stop and can't take all this food with us. Do you want it?" My jaw about hit the floor. We got Cliff bars and baked goodies and jerky and a vegetarian bologna sandwich. Not something I would normally have chosen from a menu, but I tell you I ate every bite with tears of thanksgiving. I don't think it could have tasted better if it were a steak dinner.